We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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