Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just threw up on my dentist
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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