Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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