How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
