16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
