so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
