If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
