My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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