I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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