Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
