Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
