is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
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she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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