Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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