if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
