I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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