I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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