lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
