I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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