hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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