I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You're like the curious george of whores
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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