He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize