This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
