its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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