I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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