Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.