yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
