i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
