i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize