That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
