I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
