Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
