Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
