I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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