If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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