i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
