They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
