Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
