my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize