How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
