There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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