it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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