Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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