so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
