I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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