apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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