I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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