just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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