Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
