i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize