Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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