Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize