no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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