ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Randomize
