I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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