If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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