i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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