my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
